Faith and life with Autism

Here's another excerpt from That's Life with Autism, a compilation of interviews with mothers and fathers of children with autism. This is my second contribution to this book :)

Sophie and Ben (10)

Honestly, if it wasn’t for our faith and my membership in the Church of

Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I would have exploded, “Forget it, that’s

it!” more than once. My faith teaches me to think that there’s a purpose for

Ben being like this and for us to help him. The purpose for me is that our

Heavenly Father sent him to us so that we could learn something and

become different and better. That’s my take on it, at least.

For instance, I teach English as a Second Language. My students tell me

I am so patient. I think, “Me, patient?” Then I look back at myself and, compared with how I was before all these issues with Ben began, I realize I am patient. I really have come a long way. Not to toot my own horn or anything, it’s just amazing how I really have changed in a positive way. I say to

them, “Helping you learn English is nothing. Try potty training a six year-

old!” but they don’t understand. In their eyes I’m still the most patient

person they know.

When things get out of control I can pray and read the scriptures, and

gain some sort of peace amidst the craziness. When my faith is not up to

par, I struggle and question God, “Why does this have to happen to me?

Why does this have to be so hard?” Other times I am stronger, and I recognize how lucky I am to have the gospel to bring me perspective. Other

people are stuck in this kind of thinking all the time. Without a higher

power to turn to, they probably feel like there is no hope.

An acquaintance, whose child was in Ben’s class, had a philosophy that

was completely different than mine. Everything she said about her child

was negative. Instead of enjoying when we were together, her constant

negativity was dragging me down. She viewed autism with so much bitterness

I had to stop having any contact with her. I felt like I was letting her

down, but it was a matter of survival for me. Personally, I have to stay

focused on the fact that I am supposed to learn something from everything

we are going through and better myself through this experience.

When I am actively engaged in improving things for Ben, I am less

likely to become negative and get stuck in a “Why me?” mentality. Honestly,

you know that everything has been worth it when you are having a

bad day and your once non-verbal child comes up to you and asks, “What’s

wrong, mom?” There is nothing in the world that can compare to that!

Sophie’s tip

·      Keep going. Don’t give up!