Good afternoon! Spring has
finally sprung here in Minnesota and it’s just lovely to see some greening up
of the vegetation all around us! I am not going to lie, it really does make a
huge difference in my mood ☺
I haven’t been able to write as much lately, I have been very busy with other things. But here’s a post that is prompted by a conversation I just had with a former coworker and friend of mine…
How do we, as parents, make sure that we do the best we can for our kids, when it comes to choosing our “out-of-the-home” employment?
It is for certain a very personal and sometimes painful decision… But one that will impact our family for the best if we make sure we include the Lord in our decision.
That’s what I have learned anyway… Whether a family has a special needs child to take care of or not, I think that’s good advice!
Employment Choices for a
Family affected by ASD
June 2000 to October 2006
In June of 2000 Keith quit
his engineering job at Fuller, the job that had brought us to Pennsylvania in
the first place, because of the stress our family was under. It had been a while
that my health had started to take a turn for the worse (I’ll talk about that
another day ☺) and Ben’s behaviors were off the charts. I just couldn’t cope by
myself with Keith being gone long hours for his job. His employment just did
not allow for flexibility for a family in our situation, with a child just
newly diagnosed, swimming in such tumultuous waters.
When my friend Jennifer’s husband, Steven Harper graduated from Lehigh University, he also quit his employment with GSU, the Genealogical Society of Utah. Steve was working for the Church while pursuing his PhD. He recommended my husband for his position and the Lord in his good grace helped Keith obtain the job.
What a blessing that was! We
were so grateful Keith was able to have a real nine to five job. With no
overtime, no weekends to work, he could be with us more and God even blessed us
with an increase in pay! It made such a difference in our lives at this
tremendously busy and difficult time for us and our young family.
We were able to connect more
and focus on healing somewhat from what had hit us like a ton of bricks and
move on with faith in the Lord. He was aware of us and our trials and He would
never ever forsake us! It was still hard, it was still a difficult job for
Keith, where he had to prove himself, and make sure his microfilmed records were
of excellent quality! I think Keith learned a lot while working for the Church,
and away from engineering, but it was a good experience.
Eventually, after about
eighteen months, when things had calmed down at home and my depression had
lifted and I was able to take care of the children better again, when Ben’s
behaviors were more manageable, when he had more coping skills and his level of
frustration tolerance was higher, Keith was able to obtain employment at
another engineering firm in Bethlehem again.
How wonderful our Lord is!
He knows all things and provides help when it is needed! He provided this
season of relief for me from Keith’s more demanding employment, then when it
was alright to resume it again, He blessed Keith to receive an engineering
position again... Our God is truly a God of miracles. I truly have a testimony
of the law of tithing. I think it is because of it that we were so blessed.
I also returned to teaching
–the remunerated kind– in September of 2002 despite my health problems.
Heavenly Father blessed me greatly to feel well enough to do so when Angelique
started Kindergarten full-time at Lehigh Valley Academy, a regional
charter school, which I had been involved in helping create to a small extent –
I was considered a founder of that school.
After seeing how Applied
Behavior Analysis had helped our son so much, I was eager to help someone in
need too. I knew I had gifts to share as well as a Master’s degree in languages
that I wasn’t using. I was blessed to obtain employment as an English as a
Second Language instructor for adults at a local non-profit agency. It felt
like a calling, a job where I could truly give back to the community, where I
could express my thanks for the help we had received for Ben the past few
years!
I felt that having helped
start Lehigh Valley Academy charter school hadn’t been enough. Besides, to be
truly honest, we needed money; with three growing children, finances were
increasingly tight. We were trying as we might to follow the Prophet’s counsel
to stay out of debt – we had paid off all our student loans and consumer debt–
and we were staying debt-free, except for the mortgage, but to continue we
would need a little more income.
I really enjoyed teaching
ESL, it was wonderful to meet people from so many different countries who had,
like me, immigrated to the United States, and decided to start over under more
auspicious skies. Unlike mine, their circumstances were more difficult and my
heart ached for them. What did I have to complain about? Even with a “disabled”
child at home, two little girls and my health problems, my life was a walk in
the park compared to what they had to face every single day!
What was really humbling was
when they would give me presents when they barely had enough for themselves! I
am crying as I write and reminisce. How much I miss these wonderful people and
their pure souls... They appreciated so much my sincere efforts to teach them
English so they could function in this country. I wanted to do so much more for
them. At times I had to make doctor appointments for them – their English was
so poor and I do speak Spanish well enough to communicate effectively.
But such an intense job in
social services –because teaching ESL is just that, social services, when all
is said and done, more than just teaching if your heart is really in it– took a
toll on me. After working from September 2002 until October 2006, my health
declined so much that I had to reassess. Could I really continue on this path?
No, life needed to change once again; with ASD and auto-immune ailments, life
is always in a state of flux. The rest of the story will follow later, when I
write about our relocation to Minnesota in April 2007... Yet another wonderful
adventure☺
Incidentally, I would like to say that, full-time or part-time, I
have always worked outside of the home since Angelique went to Kindergarten. I
have always found deep meaning in my connection with my students, be they
adults or teenagers, so the story will most certainly continue...
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