Autism Guardianship Decision

I finally have a quiet moment to speedily update you all on the goings on at the Kingsbury home! So much to be thankful for! J

I have understood for a long time the phrase that people use while bearing their testimonies, “I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life…”, but I don’t think I have ever used it myself. Well, there’s a first time for everything! So, yes, I too would be remiss not to see the hand of God at work in our lives, in the big and little things!

First and foremost, the big things: On Thursday June 13^th 2013, Keith, Ben and I appeared before Judge Jamie Anderson at the Hennepin County Courthouse downtown Minneapolis at 9am. Ben had to sit at the left side table with his attorney and Keith and I at the right side table with our attorney. I thought my heart would explode, this was just as in those TV shows! Ben was the defendant and we were the petitioners, as if we were against him…

Keith took the stand and, after being sworn in, testified. He was asked general questions from our attorney, Jason Schellack from the Autism Law Center, about Ben’s understanding and functional level. How much does he do for himself and how much can he function in society? All those answers we had rehearsed in advance with our attorney so it was a breeze.

Then Ben’s attorney, Ivory Umanah, questioned Keith. We didn’t know what he would ask. But during his visit in our home, when he met Ben for the first time, he realized that indeed, appointing us as Ben’s co-guardians was truly for his benefit. So Mr. Umanah’s questions were fairly simple and no-nonsense as well. But they also established how little Ben could “survive” on his own and how dependent he is on us. And since those questions were not known beforehand, Keith had to think and ponder a little more, so it was more difficult for him, emotionally more draining.

As he told me later, since it was, after all, a “testimony”, it was maybe the reason he got emotional J No, I think the real reason is that my husband is just a marshmallow at heart, and talking about his family in general, and Ben in particular, always gets his tears going… I love him for it though, it shows how much we mean to him. Who would not cherish this shower of love and affection?

After Keith’s testimony, and a few more questions from the judge, he was asked to step down from the stand, and Judge Anderson said she would take the case under advisement.

What? I really expected to receive an answer that very day! After speaking with Jason, our attorney, he reassured us that Judge Anderson was new and very thorough, but also very timely, so we’d have a ruling within the week.

And we did! She filed her ruling the very same day at 3pm –although we didn’t receive the news until Saturday June 15^th--and appointed Keith and I co-guardians! Yay! It means that we have to agree on everything, much the same we have as parents, so it just means business as usual as far as we are concerned J

Ben and I waited in the hallway as the first few cases were being heard (silence is still hard to maintain on our end!) but Keith went into the courtroom to observe how the proceedings went about. He reported that the case being judged before us didn’t go as smoothly at all. The child had also turned 18, and his parents were petitioning for guardianship, but had just divorced during the year L The judge had a lot more questions for them. Particularly because of the way co-guardians have to agree on everything about care, housing, medical matters, etc…

All my worries for us flew away as I heard this, even as my heart grew heavy for that boy. It is so sad that he should suffer, hopefully it will turn out well for him too. As for us, even as we celebrated 21 years of marriage the very day we appeared in court, I felt that we were rewarded for sticking it out, for hanging in there, for making it work through thick and thin, through light and darkness… Think I am a bit dramatic? Well, if you have a special needs child, maybe you know what I mean J Or maybe you just know that marriage takes work. Period!

The only mildly annoying task we will have is the “reporting and filing of a state of Ben’s affairs” to the court, one written by each of us, by the anniversary date of our appointment every year from now on. We both will have to describe how Ben is doing, where he is living, what education/ employment he is engaged in, etc… A small price to pay to ensure that each “child” (ward) in this system is taken care of and accounted for.

 Another small bundle we are all grateful for is this little one (thus we are thankful for the teeny things in our lives too J)

Koko Kingsbury, Pomapoo (poodle and pomeranian), 8 weeks old, rocket on four feet. I am so sleep deprived… Not really, but I’m old

–among other things-- so it feels like it! He’s a real joy and he’s doing well potty training. We all love him! He’s wormed his way into our hearts and managed to calm Ben and he makes Lixie smile all the time J

That little fur ball is the reason I haven’t blogged in a while; I have been so busy being a new mom J But dogs are good therapy for autism kids. I will write on this soon, as I gain more knowledge!

I am just so grateful for all these blessings, I know where they come from. I know all those tender mercies are from God…

P.S.: All the professionals who helped with Ben's guardianship were very helpful and friendly. All my nervousness flew away as the proceedings went on. Judge Anderson is the kindest and most sensitive judicial professional I have ever met --granted she is also the first, but I was so impressed by her sense of the details of our case. And both attorneys were what you can call Minnesota nice :) Thank you for all your help!!